


Alec Lightwood: Make No Mistake

by y0uneverwalkal0ne



Series: Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood: Redefined (A Collection) [3]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Choices, Freeform, Isabelle Lightwood - Freeform, Jace HERONDALE - Freeform, Luke Garroway - Freeform, Maryse Lightwood - Freeform, Mistakes, Raphael Santiago - Freeform, Sadness, Shadowhunters - Freeform, Simon Lewis - Freeform, The Clave, The Institute - Freeform, alec lightwood - Freeform, angel raziel, clary fray - Freeform, izzy lightwood - Freeform, jace wayland - Freeform, lydia branwell - Freeform, magnus bane - Freeform, valentine morgenstern - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 01:59:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7021135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/y0uneverwalkal0ne/pseuds/y0uneverwalkal0ne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec Lightwood can't sleep. He did what he thinks is right, and he is shamed for it.<br/>[Set after Episode 12: Malec]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alec Lightwood: Make No Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> This work is a BURST OF EMOTIONS. Apparently, my emotions amount up to only 900 words. As of now.
> 
> I dedicate this first and foremost to a very important friend–Rem, wherever you are right now, I know you deserve all the happy things in life. Tradition is NOT everything. 
> 
> I also dedicate this to my #MGDSquad–guys, you're all my rocks, my everything. Thanks for always having my back. Sisters forever!
> 
> And I dedicate this to you, wherever you are in this world, whatever you are doing, whoever you are, however you feel–thank you for reading this, and YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

_ “Alec, stop this,  _ **_right now._ ** _ ”  _

_ “ _ **_Enough._ ** _ ”  _

It was the very first time he disobeyed direct orders from his mother.

It was the very first time he disobeyed direct orders from  _ anyone. _

He walked down that altar,  _ finally sure  _ of something in his life for once. 

He _wanted_ this. He **_needed_** this. 

He knew he made the right choice,  _ of course he did,  _ but everything that’s happening right now just feels  _ so wrong. _

_ “You’ve embarrassed us in front of the Clave, and all for a Downworlder?” _ This sentence kept on ringing in his ears, even if it has been hours since it has been thrown to him by his enraged mother.

_ All for a Downworlder? All for a half-something being that you think are filths? All for a  _ **_creature_ ** _ you think does not deserve anything? _

He is sweating with so much wrath from these thoughts. He can either punch it out in the bag, or murder the dartboard in his room. But he does not have the energy to do  _ anything _ right now.

Why can’t they _understand_? Why can’t they _open their minds even just_ _this once?_ Why can’t they seem to be able to bear _change? They’re half-_ ** _angels_** _, for Raziel’s sake._ ** _Is it that difficult to accept? Is it that backbreaking to endure what they knew was already coming?_** Years of fights and animosity–the Nephilim has _never_ learned. They have never _bowed_. They have never _bent_. They have never _broke_. 

_ They were always right. _

_ They were always to be pleased. _

_ They were always to be followed. _

_How have the Nephilim become_ ** _this_** _proud?_

Proud enough to think they have the right to tell someone what they should and should not do?

Proud enough to think they have the right to tell someone what things they should be happy with?

Proud enough to think they have the right over someone’s  _ life _ ?

_ They’re  _ **_only_ ** _ half-mundanes,  _ **_but they acted like gods._ **

All these  _ laws _ and  _ rules _ and  _ restrictions _ and  _ orders _ . 

All his life he did what they said he should do.

All his life he carried out their orders. 

All his life he allowed them to dictate over him.

All his life he followed them. 

All his life he did what  _ they _ wanted. 

All his life was  _ about them. _

He never got to do what  _ he _ wanted.  **_He never got to choose._ ** And now that he did, he was transformed into something  _ to be ashamed of– _ something to be embarassed about, something to be  _ concealed _ from this judgmental world. 

He did the one thing he thinks is right, and _he_ _is shamed for it._

_ He always did his best, but his best  _ **_always_ ** _ wasn’t just good enough. _

He’s  _ tired _ .  _ So tired _ of everything restraining him.

He just wants to be  _ free.  _ He just wants to do something  _ he  _ loves. He just wants to be with  _ someone _ . He just wants to  **_deserve_ ** _ something good. _

For once.

_ Why is it always about the Law? Why is it always about the Clave? Why is it always about the rules and the ‘goddamned’ people who don’t follow them? _

_ Why can’t it be about the  _ **_Creator_ ** _ , for once? _

He kept hearing things about how God is the God of Love, how God wants the best for us, how God  _ wants us to be happy. _

Why the hell weren’t they taught about  _ that _ ?

Everything he ever learned consist of  _ killing  _ and  _ following _ and  _ mandates _ and the  _ Law.  _ **_Because we are warriors. We are dust and shadows._ **

Warriors. All his life he spent trying to be the best one.

And now that he fought his greatest war, he can’t help but expect someone to be  _ proud of him _ for surviving.

To be proud of him for being  _ fearless enough. _

But no, the  _ exact opposite  _ just had to happen.

Now Alec Lightwood lie in his bed, begging Raziel for the much needed sleep. He just needs to rest. He just needs to calm down. 

He just needs to  _ breathe. _

After the wedding that did not happen. After the kiss that  _ did  _ happen.

_ “You don’t regret it, do you?” _ No.

For once, Alec did what he  _ wanted. _ No rules, no restrictions, no strict parents, no Clave to think of and please.

It’s just Alec and Magnus.

It’s just him and his world and the love that he, for the first time, thinks he deserve.

_ He will  _ **_never_ ** _ regret that last minute choice–because it was the best choice of his life. _

For once, Alec Lightwood was not worried about anything. 

To hells below,  _ no, he does  _ **_not_ ** _ regret his first kiss.  _

Because deep inside his shivering bones, he knows it’s the start of something.

It’s the start of everything.

It’s the beginning of the life Alec never thought he would have lived.

_ Screw the rules. Screw them. Screw all of this. _

_ You’ll be lonely all your life. You don’t deserve this–and I don’t either. _

_ You okay there, buddy? _

_ We rule with our heads, not with our hearts. _

_ I’m so proud, of  _ **_you_ ** _ , Alec. _

_ It’s a solid partnership, for both of us. _

_ What about love? _

_ I wanna see you again. _

_ Goodbye, Alexander. _

_ I know you feel what I feel. _

_ I could lose my career, my family, _ **_everything_ ** _. _

_ Hey. You deserve to be happy. _

Hell yes. Alexander Gideon Lightwood deserves to be happy.

He deserves all the good this world has to offer.

_ Fuck anyone who decides to stop him. _

Raziel,  _ I  _ **_deserve_ ** _ some sleep. _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave kudos if you liked it and comments are always welcome below! :)
> 
> The fic title was from a song, Missing You by All Time Low! Listen to them–they're AH-MAZING.
> 
> Wanna have someone to talk to? Follow me on Twitter and let's DM! @precious_malec


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